Breath

 Dear Diary,

I woke up with some anxiety and still feel it now. I met with my supervisor and that helped. She said she didn't think my end date would get pushed back that much. There is much change happening though and that worries me. A lot of things outside of my control. Our other music therapist is leaving and my living situation isn't very firm. After the 12th, they told me they really can't house me anymore. I'm hoping my internship does not go past then.

I practiced bar chords today and they're coming along but it doesn't take much for my hand to cramp up. I'm trying to calm myself but this internship really stresses me out and I can feel myself chomping at the bits to be done. Only two more months I tell myself.

I talked with Vanessa last night and although it was really sweet, it also brought up questions that I hadn't been talking about for a while and sent me reeling into anxious thoughts throughout the night. Hence the poem. It's not the best way to start the week but I'm thankful for my health and that I'm on the mend.

I just need to stay strong for these next two months and finish strong and move back and get on to the next thing. I feel like, I can't stop. I must keep going. I must be strong. If I stop, I'll break. I know that's not the way it's supposed to be but after this week, I'm scared to have too much silence. 

Breath Grace. Breath. You're going to be ok. I just don't like my life right now. I don't like me. You'll find yourself again though and you'll be even better for it.

All my deepest love,

Grace Kathleen.