Lazy Saturday Sun
Brunch was very fun. We both got to know Sydney more. She's from Florida, is 21 and just a sweetheart. We get along wonderfully well. I'm realizing all the things I will miss from this place and want to make sure I bring something back with me so that I can remember this season, the struggles and the joys.
It's now a very warm 88 degrees. The sun is unyielding, though I don't mind, simmering ever so slightly. My room is a pleasant temperature and I'm enjoying the quiet. I spent some time at Lima reading Bellman & Black and sipping on chia. I got back to my car and realized I really wanted to lay out in the sun but don't have a place to go. I found a city pool but don't know if I feel up to the adventure today. Sometimes I do wish I had just a little private backyard to myself. I remember when Jo and I walked down to our pond at Rambellwood, with blankets and books and sunglasses in hand. We had to try and avoid the dogs from following us or they wouldn't leave us in peace. I miss that. I miss Rambellwood.
We had conversation today about if we were ready to be married. Some said, I'm ready for the wedding, the party but not really ready to be married. I remember a conversation with a roommate many years ago where she asked me the same question. Do you really want to be married or are you more excited at the idea of it? It was a good question to ask. I think maybe then, I had no idea what marriage really meant. Now I can say with full sincerity, I'm ready for marriage. You can never be fully ready but as far as I can be, I know it's way more important to me than any wedding. A wedding just doesn't hold the same weight as it did 5 years ago.
Right now, are many moments that come to mind. One, where you know who you are. Others are ok, just ok. Like a baby? I think I feel like a baby in others. Some you wish to feel strong and brave but you don't. I hope I learn and grow but growing older doesn't feel like it changes much. If you could change faster would you? Think you know how that would change things?..
I think I worry I know how this book is going to end. I don't miss a thing though. I'm hopeful you might say the ending won't be as bad as I think. I'm really so engaged though. It is much more than I was hoping..
I think I will cook something fun tonight. Maybe, I think something with chicken and garbanzo beans. Or what about black bean and salmon tacos? It's like marriage, the perfect pairing. ;) And then with some fresh orange juice as seasoning, it's made for success. I'm hopeful you can't go wrong with that. And with all that, I might even add some rosemary. I feel the two would go well. Soon the time will come for me to cook for someone else..
I think I'm ready to get another record. Though I'm scared that's not a good idea. I need, you know, to fit everything in my car. I really don't want to have to leave anything behind. I really want everything to fit. I trust me, I think. Maybe not anymore, lol. I think I can fit everything with the passenger seat available. I wonder, would it fit better if I got rid of some things? Well, I understand what I'm saying, of course it would. I wonder though, how much I will need to get rid of..
Well, well, I think that's enough rambling for today. I send love to you on the rest of your day. Many blessings, you dear ones..
All my love,
Grace Kathleen
💗💐
P.S. Just a heads up. I’m taking a break from posting for a couple days, maybe 3.
Comments
Post a Comment