Back in Texas

I got the job at Froth Coffee Bar. My time will be split between the kitchen in Denton making quiches and muffins and then the coffee bar itself in Haslet. I live right in between both so I can be flexible like that. The pay is $11 an hour for the kitchen and $10 an hour for the bar. My income can grow though if I work hard and always find things to do. My training starts on Sunday and next weekend. The coffee bar in Denton is new and going to open on the 26th.

I'm working on putting my life back together now that I am home. I'm still not unpacked. I just have too much stuff and am trying to purge and find homes for everything. I've moved my furniture around as well and am really loving how it's looking. It feels good to be back in TX. It's like I should have never left.

I'm listening to BEMA every other day and planning to meet with some people to ask some very important questions about the bible and what it says about certain topics. I saw Jo and the girls yesterday and today and reconnected. I went to the baby appointment and got to see their little face. Still don't know the gender. It will be a surprise! 

Tomorrow I will update my Food Handlers License and Alcohol License and then Saturday is Jo's baby shower and a little pool party hosted by James for my coming back. Sunday I train all day and then go and babysit in Ft. Worth for a church Jo hooked me up with. 

Side note, my roommate backed into my car this morning so I also need to take my car in as soon as Allstate sends me some money to do so. It's been a busy week and another one to follow I'm sure. I've been doing so much processing being back in all my old places and honestly really fighting with God a lot. Fighting with Him and telling Him that I so want to give up on trying to do everything that is good for me or that will further my growth or help all future relationships. Fighting with Him because it seems like life is really unfair and doesn't make sense and is really hard.

In the end, I'm getting through, a day at a time. I could not be happier to be back and doing all the processing that I really didn't have room for while I was doing my internship. Now I do. I have relationships to mend, more grief to cry over (I've been crying everyday), money to save up and debts to pay and so much personal growth to do. It's good. It's the way it should be. I'm just missing one thing, one major thing in my life. I may have to miss this thing forever, but I truly hope not.

I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts. Every time I drive to the town she lives in,  I think I see her in the crowd or her car on the road. Maybe I am mistaken. When you miss someone that much, you see them everywhere.  You hope to see them but then are scared because what would you say, would you pass them by or give them a hug or just stare? Oh what a world.

This song, I think, fits with the theme of this post. Not really love it, but like it. What about you?..

All my love,

Grace Kathleen