When you wish to be doing as fantastic as 9.5 but are a 4 instead........

     I read in Oswald once, I long time ago, that if there is something between you and another person that is hindering your relationship with the Lord, than go to that person and work it out. Don't go for your self, because you feel betrayed or you deserve an explanation but because you're relationship with the Lord is the most important thing and you will do what it takes to grow closer to Him. For it is not about you.

     Today I truly let go of something hindering me from my relationship with the Lord and it felt amazing. I went to the person in question and was vulnerable with them, telling them exactly how I felt.

     Living in San Antonio now I've heard stories about people getting robbed or stabbed to death on lonely park trails but today I told the Lord, "please protect me because I need some time to be near you and I feel most near you with your nature around me. Please, I need to be where there is no other living soul." I had my phone and my wallet and I just began to walk.

     The path was long and twisting but sunny patches waited round every bend. The grass was literally lime green and purple and blue and yellow flowers stood pen straight, waiting to be plucked for a lonely table. It made me miss home and mom but I kept walking, starved for country side and out where I felt at peace.

     My phone began to chime and I knew it was the person in question. "Oh Lord I can't do it! I don't know what to say!" I looked up to the sky for a minute and than I swiped right and held the device to my ear. "Heello?' I said rather weakly.

     From than on it was really hard and I wanted to cry and slam the phone down without a goodbye but I was patient and the Lord gave me the words I needed. And can you believe it?! They understood and were patient too. They listened wholeheartedly to my ramblings and never once told me to be quiet. It's times like these you know the Lord is orchestrating the whole thing, piece by piece, moment by moment.  To feel that weight lifted from me I realized no matter how much we try to do it our way, His way is always better. Thank you Jesus!

From an honest heart to yours,

Grace Kathleen