Loved

I’m sitting here and thinking of a boy. 

It’s nice to feel hope again. 

Quarantining from the possibility of meeting someone new was more difficult than thought.

I’m sipping on OutSpoken,

realizing, 

all the ways I’ve not listened to the Lord but here in the middle of my sin, He’s brought me hope. 

How sweet is that? 

The sermon touched on this, 

the songs touched on this.

God is good and brings unexpected, undeserving grace to us, His blessing overflowing. 

I realized I’ve been running. 

Taking a break. 

Not necessarily bad but not good either. I can’t run forever.

I just want to feel alive again. 

Not. This.

This feeling of hanging on a cliff with nowhere to go because going back would mean admitting where I wasted time and moving forward would mean I must mend the wasted time without the fresh taste of beginning.

Bittersweet. 

I’m not bitter though.

The still small voice is real.

And it lovingly calls me out, guiding, directing, holding my hand, wrapping me in a warm embrace. 

I am cradled in His love. 

Fostered by the most high King. 

I am not an orphan, although sometimes I feel alone, He is always right beside me with every step I take.

There it is. Loved. I am content.