Summer Time:
June 2018,
Denton, TX
The clouds are thick, puffy and creamy white with pale grey. The sky is a pretty blue color but the air is muggy and slightly windy, formulating a possible thunder storm. For the past week there has been work, work that brings exhaustion but joy. Tiny, scampering feet, little arms that reach up, bright eyes that flow with quick tears and squint with laughter, grownups that with sharp tongue direct or with soft eyes smile and say I love you, leaving two weeks quickly passing. The weekends are filled with church and friends and sitting in the library reading complete whole books or Pinteresting the hours away. It's an easy life without homework, only saving money for the future and the never ending bills to pay.
Now I have time to process. Process what it means to live, what it means to live in my shoes, to walk the path I desire and the path that God desires for me. Sometimes these paths collide but other times they do not. I look forward to the stillness of "nap time" where soft music is playing, the kids are asleep and an hour goes by with nothing to do but to sit in the darkness and think. The stillness of sitting in the library mulling over possible futures and realistic outcomes. Looking to another semester seems overwhelming and unbearable but I'm thankful for this summer to reflect but still stay busy.
I had coffee with my Dad yesterday morning. It was a sweet meeting to sit outside in the rising sun, sipping our drinks, munching our protein packs, with tears filling our eyes and praise and encouragement filling our mouths. We are close and that I am thankful for. The Lord called my mom home but I still have my dad and that, I never want to take for granted. He told me of his regrets and his joys. He told me of his college years and the many stories of his season with mom. He took my hand at the end of our meeting and prayed for me. I love you Dad!
I know my heart has been sad and broken for how different my life has come to be. No longer will I run in the fields of our farm, climb hay bales or wade in the muddy, turtle filled pond while my mom leans over the hot stove or sits on the porch laughing with my grandparents, or my dad rides the big red mower or works hard in the dusty cabinet shop. These memories will always be vivid and sweet though and I have a beautiful story to tell.
My eyes hold tears as I write for it is hard to recall these memories without the bitterness as well as the sweetness. It will always be this way I think but the Lord has pressed on my heart to write it out and recall while embracing my new life. I need to live like the Lord will come down from heaven any day and take us home. I can't hold on the past, I can't hold on to my desired future. It is only the right now that I can live.
Praying for you my friends and family. May you find a new life in the freedom of loving Jesus and live by his word, continuing to seek him and listening to his voice.
-Grace Ramsey
Denton, TX
The clouds are thick, puffy and creamy white with pale grey. The sky is a pretty blue color but the air is muggy and slightly windy, formulating a possible thunder storm. For the past week there has been work, work that brings exhaustion but joy. Tiny, scampering feet, little arms that reach up, bright eyes that flow with quick tears and squint with laughter, grownups that with sharp tongue direct or with soft eyes smile and say I love you, leaving two weeks quickly passing. The weekends are filled with church and friends and sitting in the library reading complete whole books or Pinteresting the hours away. It's an easy life without homework, only saving money for the future and the never ending bills to pay.
Now I have time to process. Process what it means to live, what it means to live in my shoes, to walk the path I desire and the path that God desires for me. Sometimes these paths collide but other times they do not. I look forward to the stillness of "nap time" where soft music is playing, the kids are asleep and an hour goes by with nothing to do but to sit in the darkness and think. The stillness of sitting in the library mulling over possible futures and realistic outcomes. Looking to another semester seems overwhelming and unbearable but I'm thankful for this summer to reflect but still stay busy.
I had coffee with my Dad yesterday morning. It was a sweet meeting to sit outside in the rising sun, sipping our drinks, munching our protein packs, with tears filling our eyes and praise and encouragement filling our mouths. We are close and that I am thankful for. The Lord called my mom home but I still have my dad and that, I never want to take for granted. He told me of his regrets and his joys. He told me of his college years and the many stories of his season with mom. He took my hand at the end of our meeting and prayed for me. I love you Dad!
I know my heart has been sad and broken for how different my life has come to be. No longer will I run in the fields of our farm, climb hay bales or wade in the muddy, turtle filled pond while my mom leans over the hot stove or sits on the porch laughing with my grandparents, or my dad rides the big red mower or works hard in the dusty cabinet shop. These memories will always be vivid and sweet though and I have a beautiful story to tell.
My eyes hold tears as I write for it is hard to recall these memories without the bitterness as well as the sweetness. It will always be this way I think but the Lord has pressed on my heart to write it out and recall while embracing my new life. I need to live like the Lord will come down from heaven any day and take us home. I can't hold on the past, I can't hold on to my desired future. It is only the right now that I can live.
Praying for you my friends and family. May you find a new life in the freedom of loving Jesus and live by his word, continuing to seek him and listening to his voice.
-Grace Ramsey
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