Always YOU
You know when you want to find that person, to sweep you off your feet and give your life meaning? Well guess what. They don't exist. The only thing that can give you meaning is,
I don't know honestly. I've fought this question so many times. Lord, I just want this or I just want that, I cry and plead to Him. I want to say, only the Lord can give you meaning but it's not that simple. Sometimes you have discover who you are, in the season you are in. Whether you are in school and working odd jobs here and there, whether you are married with out children but want them, whether you are almost done with a masters degree but just want to be married, whether you work a full time job and just want to find that something that gives you inspiration and desire for life, whether you are married and have kids but never know if your home will be up and moved around the world, whether you love deeply because you feel the lack of it, whether you wish your sister and whole family could be happy but don't know how to help them, all these things are utterly and completely real as if the world would come to a halt just for you.
Lord I pray for the hurting, for the broken, for the poor in spirit. They need you Lord. I pray they seek you first before anything else. There is no worldly answer for our desperation. Although I'm contradicting my self, it's one in the same. Figuring out who you are will only lead back to who you are in the Lord. He makes you the beautiful you, wether you like it or not. When I think about my own despair, all I have to do is remember YOU. You are there. You are present. Always. It's true I can't see you but your spirit is so unmistakable that I can't deny YOU. I lament and I lament for my life to be different but the one thing that holds me fast is YOU.
Oh how badly I want to be married but with each new season comes new challenges and so I wait only knowing of you and that you will always be there.
With love,
Grace
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