Magical World of Your Own

Why do you suffer?
Why do you linger on what makes you sad?
What is it that brings forth positive results and pushes you forward to your best self?
I thought if I ignore it, or if I only do what makes me happy that that would solve it.
I quickly learned that these things only make my unhappiness with myself and my life even greater.
So then where do I go from here?
Do I let it just be this way?
Or, do I take action and change, not my circumstances but my perspective off of my circumstances and onto the Lord?

Answer this for yourself. It is entirely up to you. There is no one and no thing that can make you happy or content. Only you can.

I look at movies, books and I fantasize longingly how my life should be like that girl who found her love, that family who traveled the world, that man who lived single all his life and never once was lonely. In the end, your life will never be that magical or perfect. I can promise though, that magical world doesn't end here. You can still have your own magic, by simply searching for it in the little, everyday things that surround you all the time.

It's not easy because you have to pursue those little things. It's easy for me to spend my free evening watching tv, lounging in my bed, tired and exhausted from everyday routine and not wanting to face getting up and breathing and doing the next day. One little change can make all the difference.

Yesterday evening, instead of going straight home after work, I parked on the square and walked to the book store. I knew the exact book I wanted. Climbing to the top floor, combing through the rows and rows of books, I found a little collection of Miss Reed books, the true story's of a single school teacher's life in the small village of Fairacre. Growing up, her story's had always inspired me and I hungered for inspiration this evening. It was windy and warm as I walked back to my car. I ran into an old classmate who had been down on his luck. After being suspended from school, he got hit by a car while skateboarding. He hadn't seen a doctor but had clicked his dislodged shoulder back into place himself. After conversing for awhile, I emptied my red coin box into his banjo case and made my way back home.

Making myself some sweet potatoes and ham, I opened the freshly bought book and dug into the text happily. It had been at least more then a year since I had really read a book. I can't tell you how good it felt to be reading again. My world drifted away as the words came to life off the page. I could have gone straight home, climbed into bed and fell asleep to droning of voices and music on a screen. Sometimes it takes effort to do something different than your flesh wants. The minute you do, the breath of fresh air revives you from the sticky, humid dessert you were in.

Now I will go back to writing that paper that needs to be written and will push me forward to my better self and bring me closer to my goal, which is getting a degree. Don't give up hope friends. Seek your own magic, your own happiness. It's not far away and it's a beautiful thing.


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